Thursday, October 07, 2021

2021年新冠世界大流行期间回国的经历:2021年10月7日星期四 2:19:14 AM

 

回到国内,一切都是迷茫。好在有妹妹,有儿子。

妹妹给转了¥9800.00,花了大半,儿子给转了¥5000.00. 很幸运。谢谢他们。结了房费,买了机票,现在还有¥8875.68。够我在国内的花费了。谢谢大家的帮助!

突然感觉有些焦虑,就把行李整理了,现在就剩下洗漱用具了,本来想等最后再洗一次头后再收拾洗发剂,但是决定放弃了,昨晚洗的头,应该没有事。寄发的行李装好了,随身带的行李就好办了,明天做最后一次核酸监测,后天就回家了,也放心了。本来要随身带的那个行李就托运好了,自己拿个电脑,背个钱包,应该没有问题的了。反正要接受120的待遇,就如此吧。

神智不安的,修心的自己竟然仍然是如此的没有定力。今天没有做操,明天也不做操,因为行李已经收拾好了。还好,今天忙忙碌碌的,总算是确认了机票,一件事情定下来了。还是学习地藏经吧。

43939

听完了大愿法师讲解的《地藏经》,如今有读完了白话翻译的《地藏经》,深深的被地藏菩萨的大愿感动了。他才是那个要度众生的大菩萨啊!我们芸芸众生,再不精进真的无话可说了。决定回去后给母亲读这部经典,让她好好的听听,体会一下地藏王菩萨的悲心,开始好好修行,念诵大慈大悲地藏王菩萨!

 

2021107日星期四   3:29:01 PM

桶鼻子的核酸检查实在是让人想抱怨!!!!!!连骂人的心都有了。

想办法办理网络,但是无果。算了,反正就几十天的时间,大多时候在养老院,有儿子给的电话,够了。

Tuesday, October 05, 2021

2021年新冠世界大流行期间回国的经历:2021年10月5日星期二 3:06:27 AM

 

学习地藏经,非常有启发。更坚定了对佛法的信息。感觉母亲和父亲都应该了解,甚是儿子也该了解。地藏菩萨慈悲,连小孩子的教育都考虑到了,因而想让儿子了解,他们好对自己的孩子用心关爱,教育。但是,算了,儿孙自有儿孙福。说多了,也许会有副作用。

信因果才可亲近佛法。

想购买机票,但是不确定因素太多。但是机票却在不断的向上涨,如果现在不买,等当天买会更贵。但是刚刚问了退票的状况,¥420.00的机票,竟然罚款¥378.00. 决定买了机票。放下了心。都忘记了,这里买机票是要付机场建设费的,我付了¥50.00.

2021105日星期二4467

今天在修法的时候,突然希望看到母亲在余生放下一切,一心拜佛,念佛。其实,只要她放下,每天的生活都是念佛,就一句“嗡玛尼咇弥哄!”就可以,一心念佛,一心礼佛,一定可以改变自己的命运。母亲啊!我希望你在此刻可以醒悟。父亲的事情,由我们来管,你放下,放下、放下!

自心本离

缘起赞

宗喀巴大师

法尊法师  

敬礼尊重妙音菩萨!

由见说何法,智说成无上,胜者见缘起,垂教我敬礼。

世所有衰损,其根为无明,见何还能灭,是故说缘起。

尔时具慧者,如何不了知,尊圣教心要,即诸缘起道。

如是于依枯,稀有称赞门,除说缘起外,谁能得余者。

由彼彼依缘,说彼彼性空,离此更何有,稀有善教诲。

愚者执何法,坚固边执缚,智善彼即是,戏纲尽断门。

此教于余未能见,故唯称尊为大师,外道窃明以饰赞,如于野干呼狮子。

稀有大师稀有依,稀有胜说稀有枯,极善宣说缘起教,于彼大师我敬礼。

恒作饶益者,为益众生故,说教藏空性,无比决定因,谓缘起道理。

见相违不成,此于尊教法,如何能了知?

尊许若时见,空即缘起义,性空与成立,所作所无违。

若见反彼者,空则用不成,有用则五空,堕苦恼险处。

是故于尊教,极赞见缘起。

彼亦非皆无,及以自性有。

无待如空花,故无依非有,若性有彼生,待因缘相违。

是故离缘起,更无有少法,故说离性空,亦无有少法。

若法有自性,则说无涅槃,及无戏论灭,自性无灭故。

故于智众中,发大狮子吼,数唱离自性,善说谁能难。

况无少自性,及依此此生,建立皆成立,二不违随顺。

即有缘起因,说不违边见,此善说即是,尊无上说因。

此皆自性空,缘此此果起,二决定更互,无障无助伴。

除此更有何,为甚奇稀有?

以此理赞尊,成赞非有余。

若有为愚使,与尊作仇隙,彼不忍无性,妙声有何奇?

若受行尊语,珍藏缘起法,不忍空性吼,我说此为奇。

缘起是无性,无上引导门,若即有彼名,反执有自性。

今有何方便,导彼众生趣,胜圣善行阶,无比尊喜道?

自性无作待,缘起有待作,何能于一食,二无违和顺。

故说缘起法,虽自性本离,然似彼显现,此皆如幻事。

说如尊所教,无有少敌者,能如法求过,善达即由此。

何故由说此,于见不见事,远离增益执,及损灭过故。

缘起道因相,见尊说无比,由此证余悟,是量起决定。

见如义善说,有随尊学者,衰损皆远离,灭众过根故。

由背尊圣教,虽久依疲苦,后后过如呼,我见坚固故。

稀有诸智者,善达此二别,尔时于圣尊,岂不从髓敬?

纵于一分义,得少许决定,尚与彼胜乐,况尊众多说?

噫愚坏我智,于如此德聚,虽曾久皈依,未知德少分。

然幸将近终,命相续未没,于尊略生信,想此亦善根。

说中缘起说,慧中缘起智,二如世胜王,尊善知非余。

尽尊所垂教,依缘起性转,彼为涅槃故,尊无不趣寂。

美哉尊圣教,随至谁耳道,彼皆趣寂故,尊教谁不持?

能降诸怨敌,离前后相违,与众生二利,此教我生喜。

尊为求此故,经于无量劫,数舍诸身命,亲爱受用等。

由此何法德,如钩钓诸鱼,能引尊意法,未亲从尊闻。

自恨善根劣,由彼忧恼力,我意终不舍,如母意随子。

于此思尊说,相好胜光耀,光网遍围绕,大师妙梵音。

此作如是说,能仁妙影像,显现于意中,如月治热恼。

于此奇胜教,诸不智众生,周遍起纠诤,如跋缚罗草。

由见如是相,故我多励力,随顺智者行,数求尊密意。

尊授记龙猛,释无上乘法,远离有无边,教轨夜开园。

无垢智轮满,无碍游虚空,除边执心暗,映邪说星宿。

吉祥月善说,白光鬘照显,由师恩见时,我意获安息。

一切佛事中,语事为第一,彼复因此故,智由此念佛。

随彼大师正出家,修学圣教未退劣,勤瑜伽行一比丘,于彼大师如是敬。

遇此无上大师教,皆由尊重深恩故,此善回施诸众生,成善知识摄受因。

愿利者教尽有际,不遭恶分别风动,达圣教理于大师,获得信忍常充满。

愿一切生舍身命,住持能仁妙教法,光显甚深缘起性,虽刹那顷不慢缓。

愿胜导者无量难,殷重为心所成办,由何方便令此增,昼夜专注恒思察。

净胜意乐勤彼时,梵王帝释护世间,妙黑天等护法众,恒为助伴无暂舍。

 

由说甚深缘起门中,称赞无上大师世尊善说心藏,多闻苾㤘善慧名称吉祥,著于雪山聚中大雪山王阿得公家旁侧喇顶静处,又名尊胜洲。书者求寂虚空吉祥。

Snow Wang Mulroy 抄写于上海逸仙路180号,宝隆宾馆2012房。

Tuesday, October 5, 2021  11:56:54 PM

思考了一下,既然佛学是一种哲学,是真理,为什么专业学习哲学的人不可以接受呢?自然是与自己的业力有关的。但是,为什么不尝试一下呢?既然梁周民(敏)给我找到了共产党宣言,为什么我不可以将佛经发给她呢?有来无往非礼也。好,找找最合哲理的佛教经典发给她。


Monday, October 04, 2021

2021年新冠世界大流行期间回国的经历:2021年10月4日星期一 5:04:40 PM

 

英文的共產黨宣言讀了数页,仍然在继续。中文的也在读。始终是想好好了解一些这部影响了中国人一个多世纪的文献。

昨天没有写日记,是在听大愿法师讲的地藏经。地藏经是孝敬,救命经,真实不虚。仍然想继续听。好就继续听。

“佛渡有缘人”,真正的理解了这句话。佛法在面前,愚痴的众生也未必可以得到啊。

给老同学的朋友群发了一集大愿法师药师经的讲解,遗憾的是没有收到任何的反响。这便是因缘啊。

昨晚买了枕头和被子,这样回去之后就有合心的床上用品了。就可以安住了。

我的电脑两天前只是播一段时间后突然失声,以为是累着了,就关机,重启,仍然可以工作。这两天在做锻炼的时候又是如此,开始以为是网站的缘故,但是用ipat却正常。仍然认为是累着了。但是今天早上,刚刚打开电脑,开始播放大愿法师讲解的地藏经,仅仅数分钟便又失声了。不知道是怎么回事,请求专家解决。谢谢!

Saturday, October 02, 2021

2021年新冠世界大流行期间回国的经历:Saturday, October 2, 2021 5:45:56 PM

 

无论是在什么样的状况下,都要不忘初心。不忘本心。这句话现今似乎很时髦,但是,什么是初心?什么又是本心?

初心依人依事会有所不同,而本心,却是一个底线的问题。

依我的理解,只要本心不改,初心就好守。

看到父母床头的贴纸:不忘初心,牢记使命。离岗不离党,退休不褪色。这自然是养老院大外宣做的功夫,但是却让人回味。

父母是几十年的老党员,如今年过古稀,正在走向生命的尽头。我不知道贴纸上讲的初心是什么。是指共产党建党时候的初心吗?

因为有此疑问,变开始寻找共产党宣言,没有找到,就托同学帮助,因为她姐姐姐夫是哲学系的毕业生。丈夫发了英文版的。我要读读。

2021102日星期六    10:35:10 PM

弟弟与母亲的交流,还是温馨的。儿子毕竟是儿子。母亲的依赖。算了一下,也就是不到九十天的时间,每天需要三个人三班倒,到时候大家跳吧。我不在乎值夜班。

Friday, October 01, 2021

2021年世界新冠大流行期间回国经历:2021年10月1日星期五 5:43:35 PM

 

早早起来,读了弟弟在朋友圈分享的一篇癌症晚期病人的经历,很认同,用佛教的语言来讲,仍然是忏悔两个字。是释然两个字。也是放下两个字。英语讲就是:Let it go.

母亲越来越烦躁了,妹妹讲是正常的:老人在走之前,烦躁,不讲理,是在断除此生的因缘,可以往生了。另外就是输液速度过快了。这个我不太清楚,速度快会让人心悸,不舒服,也许就会导致烦躁。弟弟仍然希望母亲修行,赞同。但是母亲的观念是80多年的陈旧积淀,要在临终前改变,很难。只有循序渐进。佛像,经文,发愿都是有助的。告诉了弟弟,希望将他要母亲读的文字打印出来,好读。另外把母亲选的佛像打印出来,母亲好看着念佛,发愿往生极乐。希望弟弟可以做到这些。老人了,拿个手机读东西,累。

说起放下,我自己也需要放下。放下心里牵绊的一切:父母,丈夫,孩子,孙子。说起忏悔,我自己也需要忏悔:

1.                    很小的时候,在社旗一小,大约是一年级的时候,全校师生到戏院开会,每个人都自带一个小板凳,坐在外面。不记得是开什么会,大概是宣判大会吧?那个时候宣判大会很多的。等大家都站起来后,一个小学的同学名叫李旗红的,为了给我开个玩笑,悄悄的将我的小板凳抽走了,待我坐下时自然是一个仰八叉。我即可开始嚎哭,自认为是别人对不起我,我有理由闹腾。那次的哭堪称空前,闹的校长过来都劝不住。最后校长把正在上班的母亲叫来才算了事。(哭哑了嗓子,哭干了泪水的我,看到母亲立马起来跟着走了。我最怕的就是母亲。)这件事,想起来,同学李旗红完全是幽默的开个玩笑。而完全没有幽默感的我,却糊涂,任性。以至于后来的树年小学,李旗红都不给我说话。想起来,当时为什么闹的那么凶,就是因为忌妒:李旗红是班里的文艺委员,漂亮,聪明,能干,在班级非常受重视。而我则是那个没有人在意的丑小鸭。心中不服气。

所以,我在此深深的忏悔,向李旗红赔罪:对不起,我当时的表现实在是无明的缘故。请你原谅,原谅我的愚蠢。我知道,童年的经历会给你以后的生活带来很多的影响,如果那次糟糕的经历给您的生命中留下了阴影,也请您原谅。我在此向当时的校长(李姓,男士)忏悔,为我当时的疯狂表现给学校和校长您的工作造成的不良影响而忏悔,请您原谅,请原谅当时的我的无知,无明。

2.                   仍然是在社旗一小上学的时候,不记得是几年级,只记得当时的班主任是田凤兰,也不记得是为了什么,只记得当时生气的班主任把我锁在了自己的卧室,大概是因为我不听管教,扰乱了课堂吧?而当时的我,竟然打开窗子,从窗户里跳了出来,并在学校校园里的黑板报栏写下了“打倒田凤兰!”后来,因为怕是反动标语,自己又把它擦了。也不记得这件事情的结果是什么,但是,这件事情肯定给当时的田老师带来和不小的困扰,我在此向过往的田老师道歉,对我当时无礼的作为真诚的忏悔。请田老师原谅,原谅我的无知,无明。

3.                   在社旗武装部居住的时候,当时我们家居住在最后一排,与厨房相邻,在武装部大院后门的地方,是平房。邻居是后勤林司务长。他家有三个或者是四个孩子,只有一个女孩,名叫林武丽,是她父母的掌上明珠。但是不知道为什么,也不记得我是怎么知道的,我看到了她偷了钱(偷的谁的钱也不记得了),我以为自己是做正确的事情,就把这件事告诉了她的父亲。她父亲自然感到没有面子,就狠狠的打了她一顿。而且我当时还自得的告诉自己的父母:是我告的状。记得父亲不由分说的将我痛打一顿。我自然是不服气,再次开启了哭的闸门。我认死理的认为自己没有做错,是父亲错了,他不该打我。但是家里的人没有支持我的,我哭的不吃饭,不喝水,等待的就是父亲的道歉,但是我始终没有等到。哭的过程中无意中看到一只半大的鸡娃,就顺手抓过来,将之从脖子处拧了数圈,直到死亡,然后将其顺手扔到了院墙外面才算解气。也不记得这件事情是怎样结束的,只记得自己犯过的罪孽。这件事情,我要忏悔和道歉的有很多人。

首先是林武丽,那个从西峡随军到社旗的无辜女孩子。我不应该告诉你的父母你所做的事情,让你挨打。现在我理解了,眼见不一定为实,耳听也不一定为虚。我对自己当时的行为深深的忏悔,并向你道歉,请你原谅,原谅我的顽劣和无明。

再则是我的父亲王玉林,父母教育孩子本来天经地义,对于您当时的教导我却极力对抗,要有个说法。给当时的您一定造成了不好的影响,更何况是在您工作的单位里?我在此为当时给您造成的所有烦恼和不便道歉,请原谅我的固执,原谅我的无知。

另一个就是那只无辜的幼鸡,无缘无故让我夺去了生命。您在无始的轮回中一定做过我父母。我真诚的忏悔,忏悔我杀戮的罪过,愿您的冤魂早日投生善道,修习佛法,成佛成道。请您原谅我,原谅我的野蛮,原谅我的无知无明。

4.                   很早以前,仍然是在社旗县武装部,那时候我们在院子里最前面的老房子住,老房子因为太过古老,常常从屋顶往下掉毛毛虫,吓得我不敢在房间独处。不记得是为了什么,父亲打了我,在我当时的认知世界里,我没有错,是父亲打错了。自然的,感到委屈的我顿时又开启了大哭的模式。无论谁劝都不停,就是认死理的要父亲道歉。父亲黑着脸上班去了,我就在家门前哭,大声的哭,大声的申诉,主要就是父亲打错了我,要道歉。家就住在父亲工作的武装部,我就在家门前大哭大闹,实实在在的让父亲丢尽了颜面。父亲下班回来,我仍然在哭,就是要他道歉。但是,结果是怎么样的,不记得了。唯一记得的就是父亲始终没有道歉。

Again,父母教训孩子是天经地义的,打错了又如何?更何况,小孩子的认知怎么可能与成人的认知一致?成人有成人的道理,父亲的词典里从来没有向孩子道歉这样的词汇,更何况,古人云:无不是的父母。所以,我为幼时的固执道歉。为当时引起的父亲在单位的困惑道歉!为让父亲在单位丢面子道歉!请父亲原谅我。您此生是我的父亲,对我就是给我生命的恩情,我当时不知感恩,给您增加了很多的困惑,请您原谅我。原谅我的固执,原谅我的无知无明。

5.                   记忆仍然在社旗。时值文革,当时武装部为我们这些孩子们集中办学习班,妹妹因为小而且出麻疹,得以幸免。我和姐姐与其它的孩子们被带到当时的育红中学,也就是社旗县一中。在那里,我们女孩子们一个大教室,地铺。男孩子们一个大教室,也是地铺。白天去学习,在学校食堂吃饭。学的什么一丝一毫也不记得了,记得的就是当时我穿的大姨做的鞋子烂了,前后都脱开了,不能留在脚上了,唯一可以勉强系在脚上的就是那个袢儿,走路的时候非常困难。另一个记忆就是今天我要忏悔的:当时伙房的打饭的厨师的手因为患有白化病,一块一块的白斑。当时的我,不但没有怜惜之心,生出来的却是厌恶之情。每次都尝试不到他的窗口打饭,因为他的手拿过的馒头,我吃不下。我想,自然是难以总是避免,否则,我的记忆不会如此深刻。

   人生在世,生老病死势在必然。对于有病苦的人,我们要有怜悯之心,慈悲之情。而我当时却是厌恶。我在此真诚的忏悔,那位打饭的师傅,您为我打饭,为我饥饱,我当感激,感恩!请原谅我的无知,原谅我的无明。

6.                   社旗的记忆竟然这么多。又是一个,仍然在社旗一小:上五年级的时候,班里有一个高高大大的女生,名叫尚春荣,她是班里的副班长,非常强势,众多的女生都围着她转。而当时的我,仍然是因为妒忌她的能力,故意不亲近她,自然的就在办理被孤立了。但是个性要强的我也不在乎:只要我学习好,谁人能奈我何?!当时同桌是吴振敏,还有同学叫王杰的。后来,社旗县办了一个三小,我们有一批学生要自愿转入三小,我是其中之一。在离开一小前,我们班有一次篮球赛,当家的自然是尚春荣。当时因为要离开了,我个人也希望缓解与她的关系,在需要换人的时候,我胆怯并小声的说:“我上吧。”尚春荣竟然非常大方的讲:“王雪,上!”

   在此我要忏悔,为自己的妒忌之心忏悔。别人有能力,有影响力,我本应该欣赏,随喜。而当时的我有的却是嫉妒,并以自己的小人嫉妒之心量别人的君子之怀。尚春荣,我请你原谅我,原谅我的无知,原谅我的无明。

7.                   社旗的生活在小学五年级中段结束。一定有我不记得的因为无明,因为无有未闻正法,因为贪嗔痴的习气所犯的罪过,我都愿意接受业果法则,并诚挚的忏悔。愿一切被我伤害的众生及非人众生都无痛苦,得闻佛法,趋向解脱。愿一切与我有因缘的众生分享我善业的功德。

忏悔三昧:

无论是过去,现在,或是未来。

因身,口,意的造作,被我伤害过的(因缘)众生。

或因身,口,意的造作,所招感的诸多不顺和苦难不管是身体上的,还是精神上的。

我都愿意接受(业果法则)。

并惭愧的忏悔

因为无明,因未闻四种真谛,无量劫来,我们彼此伤害,冤冤相报,枉受诸苦于六道中,无有出期。

我们都希望解脱。

愿一切被我伤害过的众生,无精神的痛苦,无身体的痛苦,愿你们保持快乐。

愿一切与我有因缘的鬼道,非人众生,得闻佛法,投生善道,趋向解脱。

愿一切与我有因缘的人或非人众生,分享我善业的功德,并回答;善哉!善哉!善哉!

愿一切众生分享我的功德。

2021年世界新冠大流行期间回国经历:Friday, October 1, 2021 2:20:07 AM

         刚刚与妹妹通了一个小时的电话,妹妹的辛苦和豁达让我动容。修行之人就是不一样。还好,到时候她帮我下单邮寄行李,并到门口接我,应该没有问题。如果居委会联系我,我就按照他们的要求乘坐120回去。

总之,车到山前必有路。

隔离一周过去了,每天上下午各测一次体温,加上机场的那次,已经测了三次核酸。

体温监测上午是自己通过健康小程序上报,并上报是否有症状。第一次还让将体温计的读数拍照上传,后来就没有那么复杂了。下午是全副武装的医务工作人员到房门口测手腕的体温。这就是一个简单的程序。而核酸检测取样则是非常痛苦的一件事情,拭子桶入鼻腔后部,本来就痛苦难耐,还要在里面转圈圈,真是不堪忍耐!而且不明白为什么每次都是右鼻孔,已经伤到粘膜了,难道下次不可以更换左侧吗?而咽拭子则是要搞到你干呕!如果不是为了父母,真不愿意受这种罪!

还好,我是个能够耐得住寂寞甚至喜欢独处的人,又有自己的生活作息计划,不会感觉烦闷和焦虑。对于那些喜欢热闹的人,怕就是度日如年了。因此,建议进入隔离之前,要计划好自己两周里的生活,按照计划行事,就会感到时间过的很快。

下面是我的建议,也是我的经验:

1.               带一本想看的书,可以趁着隔离,放肆的读一本自己喜欢的书。

2.               下载一些想看的录像,也可以趁此机会,毫无愧疚的放肆的看自己喜欢的电影或电视连续剧。

3.               喜欢写字的朋友,可以写下自己隔离过程中的经历和飞友,隔离楼友之间的真情。

4.                 一定要多喝水,这样才可以保障健康。

5.                    要适当的做些锻炼:下载自己喜欢的锻炼录像,跟随录像做锻炼。在狭小的房间隔离,最适合的就是做瑜伽,可以是流瑜伽,也可以是阴瑜伽,也可以是两者结合,根据自己的需求和爱好来做。

谈起来一行驴友的互助之情,留在心里的只有感激和感动。

首先是同航班的飞友。从做登机前的核酸和Ig M检查开始,实验室工作人员就给我们一起飞的朋友建立一个微信群,大家可以相互交流信息,相互支持。我们的飞友群里有111个人,群里的人大多相互不认识,但是通过网络,大家都可以放心的相互提问,解决问题。111个人中总有人有答案,所以,登上回国的飞机的旅程尽管是困难重重,我们这行人还是达到了上海。同群的飞友都很热心,每当有人需要帮助的时候,就有很多飞友为其出计出策,解决问题,友情是对于手机小程序不熟的人,被那些众多的“码”困惑的人。感谢飞友!

到上海后就是被分配到了不同的酒店隔离。而飞友群仍在,我们仍然可以相互问问题,相互寻求帮助。

到了酒店,我们又有了一个群,那就是酒店楼层生活群。酒店管理人员利用这个群来管理我们这些被隔离的人。而楼层群里的人也是可以相互帮助,互通信息的。有时候一个人的问题,可能代表了大家的问题,在群里提出后,得到的回答会帮助到大家。比如,群里有解除隔离的,问及缴费及开发票的事情,得到的回到可以帮到那些还没有到解除隔离时间的人。等他们解除隔离(时髦的名词叫“出观”)的时候就知道如何做了。群里也有投诉酒店服务的,大家还可以为之呐喊助力呢。

我住的酒店,将14天日常生活用品如:瓶装饮用水,卫生纸,洗发剂,洗手剂,牙膏,面巾纸,垃圾袋等。当然,如果不够用,还是可以在微信中向大堂经理提出需求,补充一些的。我因为在国外养成了个咖啡的习惯,从家里带来的咖啡包因为行李过重,放到了姐姐那里,在进入隔离房间之前没有顾得上拿出来,就不允许再送到我这里了,姐姐询问了大堂经理,酒店就给提供咖啡包。也是挺周到的了。

隔离人员是不允许离开房间的,一日三餐都是酒店送来放到门口的椅子上的。而垃圾则是要求消毒后封闭垃圾袋放到椅子下面,会有专人来收的。通常我们会收到大堂经理这样的微信广播:大家准备好,带好口罩,留好门,可以取餐了。大家就可以在自己门口的椅子上拿到当时的餐食。

酒店不允许叫外卖,不允许购买容易变质的食物,不允许购买新鲜水果和蔬菜。但是,如果购买的是干燥的,近期不会变质的东西,酒店还是允许送快递的。送来的快递,要经过警察查验后,如果过关,就可以在当日晚餐的时候放到房门外的椅子上。可以在取晚餐的时候同时取回自己的房间。我进驻后,家人给快递了手机卡,零食等,都按时送到。也是挺方便的了。

总之,如果你能够耐得住寂寞,为时14天的隔离是会很快就过去的。

Thursday, September 30, 2021

2021年世界新冠大流行期间回国经历:2021年9月30日星期四 10:07:44 PM

 

  看到老妈在病房与弟弟大闹,大哭。可以理解。到了人生的尽头,儿子却希望按照佛法让她痊愈。是个好方法,但是母亲可能没有这个福分。甚至拒绝。她不知道自己有多幸运,有这样的儿子,这样的苦口婆心,而她自己又头脑清楚,可以理解和接受,可以按照方法去做。而老父亲就已经失去了这样的机会,因为他头脑再也不清楚了。只能是遗憾。

   父母在头脑清楚的时候都是接触过佛法的,但是却没有真正的靠近,不能不说是遗憾。母亲,听你儿子的,他是佛派过来度你的啊!!!!

2021年世界新冠大流行期间回国经历:Thursday, September 30, 2021 4:16:23 PM

 

   回国一周了,从摄像头中看到父母和他们生活的点点滴滴,听到父亲的呻吟,母亲的咳嗽… …

   插着鼻胃管和膀胱造瘘尿管的父亲躺在床上已经两三年了,这两天常常听到他的呻吟,声音之大,是可以惊到人的。说明他还是有力气的。这些都是胃管喂养的功劳。

   可以想象得到,父亲早就厌世了,他自从两年前因为摔倒,股骨骨折,然后住院导致肺炎后,就没有离开过床。也没有离开过胃管。他拒绝吃东西,拒绝喝水,这也许就是他拒绝生存的表示,但是,母亲却执意的仍他活着,心甘情愿的照顾他。如今,听着他痛苦的嚎叫,竟有一种厌恶的感觉。嗡玛尼咇弥哄!

   母亲的选择未必是父亲的意愿。所以,有自己的生前预嘱是必须的。母亲在为自己的选择付出,但是她自己也病了,就开始要求儿女为她的选择付出。也对,不会太久的。似乎不能吞咽的母亲每天仍然要吃,而且不能提不吃的事情。脾气也大,昨晚又给弟弟发脾气,置气:你走吧。明天爱来不来。无明的母亲啊,她的儿子才是真正的为了她好啊!为了她的究竟解脱啊!

   母亲还是惦念我的,发来语音,问我隔离的生活怎么样,是否有吃的,是否有钱。我自然是告诉她一切正常。

   这两天来,我的情绪不好。因为不适应,因为繁琐,今天早晨,因为检测取样的痛苦… …

   真是可笑,我一个修心的人,竟然连这样的环境和状况都适应不了,修行修到脚后跟上了。Shim on me!早就知道,远离这个国家太久了,无论是思维还是行动都会格格不入,为什么还要被打扰到?难得的修行机会,要悟啊!

   其实,对于政府的管理方法和为人处世,我早在家里就是很明确的。我不赞同。但是,那又与我无关。但颠倒是非的事情的确让人不齿。这次疫情,连我这个中国人都对所谓的源头的事情冷笑,都开始心中有所怨气,更何况其他人?颠倒是非,混淆黑白,以假乱真。不干涉内政,你怎么管理你的地域,别人没有兴趣管,也管不着。但是在国际舞台上如此,就的确让人不齿。算了,我不是愤青,不问国事。安静修心才是。

   “幸运的人一辈子都被童年治愈,不幸的人一生都在治愈童年。”这句心理学的名言对我非常适合。渐渐的认识到了,自己才是那个一生都在治愈童年的不幸的人。

   人在有情绪的时候,往往会做出一些不理智的举动,言语也好,行动也罢。昨天我被情绪牵绕,对姐姐的态度有问题,希望她可以原凉。

Sunday, September 26, 2021

My experience for flying back to China during the pandemic

 

Sunday, September 26, 2021  4:06:48 PM

My experience for flying back to China during the pandemic

Visa

My mom was diagnosed with esophageal tumor since last November. Mom is the primary caregiver to my dad who is bedridden for many years with Alzheimer, NG feeding, and super pelvic catheter. Apparently, they need someone to be there. My sister and brother were doing their share and I was willing to do my share.

I have a ten years vise to visit China, but because the pandemic, the ten years visa is not valid now and if there were a need, who need to apply a Humanity visa. I applied the Humanity Visa to go back to China to visit last year.  The result was disappointed. I got my passport back without visa.

Mother was very upset but has to accept it eventually.

Mother is over 80 years old and does not want to go through all the painful diagnostic examinations and do not want experience any painful treatment. She decides that just let it be.

Time goes by. Over half year past, mother’s swallow difficulty has gradually increased. From August, 2021, she even could not swallow liquid food and then even water. Apparently, without eat and drink, she could not survive. Finally, she accepts to get IV fluid. From the picture my sister sent to me, she lost lots of weight, she does not even look like my mother anymore.

I applied the humanity visa again by the end of August. Endless paper work done through email and then I was instructed to mail my passport and print out all the paper work and send to the consulate, and then wait.

To avoid disappointment, I told myself not hold my hope up. But just in case, I applied for family medical leave from work and made notes: it depends on my visa.

Life goes on. My sister and brother in law stayed with us for over a year now and they are ready to go back to China due to mother’s situation. They are Chinese citizen and they can go back without any problem. They bought the flight tickets for September 24th and I have planned their trip accordingly.

Sep. 22 2021: 530 AM, get on the Amtrak from Eugene to Seattle. Arrive in Seattle at 11:50.

Sep. 22 2021 at 12:00, take the car recommended from the hotel we booked in Seattle to the hotel-Hilton garden inn. Drop off all the luggage and walk to the lab to do the Chinese government required COVID 19 tests before get on the flight to China.

Sep. 23 2021: stay in hotel and waiting for testing result and apply for health code to get on the flight.

Sep. 24 2021 12:10AM: get on the Delta 289 to fly from Seattle to Shanghai.

I would go back to Eugene by Amtrak at the 24th after sending them off. That is why I exchanged my work schedule from 21st to 25th.

At 17th of Sep. 2021 evening, my sister checked the mail. She get a express mail and handed to me while I was on the porch just started to enjoy the outdoor fresh air.

I opened the envelope and found my passport with a visa!!

I got up and hurried to upstairs and turned on my computer and bought myself a flight ticket with the same flight my sisters have. I was so lucky because there were only 4 tickets left. And then, I have to cancel my return Amtrak ticket. We booked the hotel with no refund for better price so we kept my stay in the hotel for another day and after my sister check out, three of us get in my room and rested a little till 6pm that we went to the airport.

For the hotel stay, I am fine with everything but for the ride, I have been told the ride from the hotel to airport is $70.00. When I was asking the driver: how much we own you and how do you like to be paid? He said: “$100.00, cash with tip.” For a smooth trip, I did not question. I just handed him a 100 dolor bill to get over with it. The driver who derived us from the Amtrak station to the hotel only charged us $70.00 and I asked her: how much we own you and how do you like to be paid? She said: $70.00 and anyway if you like to pay. I choose pay her cash.

The COVID 19 tests:

We made an appointment at the Anytests lab at 13:30. We used this lab because it is the recommended by the Chinese consulate per other flying group members. We booked the hotel just because that is a walking distance to the testing lab.

When we arrived the lab, it was only 13:00. The lab employee hurried to take us to get the sample collected. So they can perform the test on time.

We have to open our passport information page and hold in our hand while they were taking samples and the other lab worker will take our cell phone and take our pictures at the same time. One nasal swab, one pharyngeal swab and one blood draw.

And there were paper works: letter of commitment on COVID 19 vaccine; consent for testing, patient intake. Luckily, I got most the paper work online and fill them out before come. That saved some time. And then, we take pictures with the paper work and passport together. And we need to take another picture with holding our passport in front of the Lab facility. And then scan the barcode to join the DL289 weichat group to get result and communications. My weichat phone does not have phone card, I had to use their free wi-fi to get to weichat for that.

Everything is done. We went back to hotel to check in.                

We took food with us, so we do not go out to eat. After ate, took a hot shower and lying down in bed and wait. We have been told that the results will be in our email box around mid-night. Since we have been getting up so early to get on the train and we can just rest and trying to make my mind in order. It is good to have some time alone.

Trying to get some rest. Fall in and out sleep many times. When I was checking on the clock, there was about 1 hour each time when I wake up to check my email. The flying group members are all nerves and keeping posts it kept me awake more. Start at the midnight, some people getting their results and I was the later one get them. Checked it and all are normal. So I started to get in the system to submit all the needed result and paper work to the system in order to get the health code to get on the flight. The system is different for non-Chinese citizens. I tried to use phone to do so, it is not easy that I missed upload lots of pictures and papers. After my sister get hers and her husband’s done and left my room. I started to turn on my computer and do it on computer. It is much easier and I completed it by 2:30 AM and submitted to the San Francisco Chinese consulate. Finally, I can rest.

Wake up at 7 AM, check my health code, the color was orange (under verification). Continue to try to sleep. And wake up in an hour, checked the code, still orange. In and out sleep till 10:00AM, I decide to get up and start my coffee. At 10:30AM, my code changed color: green and shinning! I have passed the requirement I can get on the flight to go back to my parents!

The flight:

The flight is DL289. We arrived the airport4 hour early so we do not need to be hurry.

Since I was planning to stay in 90 days. I almost took all my necessary stuff with me. So as my sisters, they realized that lots of winter cloth they took to my home are not needed but were needed in China. So they tool lots of luggage as well. We are the first one to come to the check in counter. They were not ready to work yet. They were just setting up the station. We waited a while and they started to check us in. luggage is too heavy, they tried to let us took out some and then put in some, very patiently to adjust the weight and not cost up more money. We do appreciate it very much!

Through security check, we came to the gate and peacefully waiting. That was a good feeling. Just before on board, we were checked temperature and they put a brown sticker on back of out passport. And then raw by raw has been called to board. I was the last one to get on board because I sit the last raw, seat 56B. There is no one seat at 56A.

I was so lucky that the food service is acceptable to me. I ordered pasta which is happening to be vegetarian. And then later on, I was at sleep when they serve food. They put the food on my table and when I wake up, there is still vegetarian. I was going to book food as vegetarians, but did get chance. There were too much to do before we leave.

And I, myself sit on two seat the way flight to Shanghai, China!

The quarantine:

The policy is: direct flight from America to China, passengers need to be quarantined at the city of the flight destination for 14 days. After that, the passenger could go back to their final destination and quarantine following local policy. At the moment, in my home province, it is 14+7+7. I asked my nephew what the policy of Nan yang, he answered: 7 days at home quarantine. I hope this will not change.

When we arrived in Shanghai, we have been told that staying in the seat and wait for custom to check. Someone came and talked with few passengers and then lead them left. And then we were told can pick up our personal belongs and get off the flight.

Following the flow, we were at the custom. Step by step, checked our passport, scanned our custom health declaring code and then was giving a consent paper to sign for consent for collecting samples for test and was given to a testing tube with red viral media and our own name and passport number on, and a biohazard bag. We were told to follow the flow to the COVID 19 nuclear testing area. I was called and handed the tube and bag to the testing personal and they did nasal swab and pharyngeal swab with make me sick. Then I was allowed to leave to claim my luggage.

Got the luggage and was lead to the area have different final destinations. That was used to arrange different hotel for quarantine. Our passport was collected by the staff. We were at the other category which is outside of Zhejiang province. We were also the last group to get out of the airport and get on the bus to hotel. That was about 10AM.

At the main lobby of the 1800 YIxian RD, Bao Long hotel, we were told to scan a bar code to put our personal information in and forming a barcode to show the front desk person. They scanned it and assigned a room for us and gave us a plastic bag with the room number on it. There is paper work and sanitize material in the bag. And finally, I got my passport back!

We were lucky. My sister and brother in law were allowed to stay in the same room for quarantine. They are in 8th floor. I am in 20th floor with good view. Everything is fine. I asked them not ordering me food since I am vegetarian and not eat much. I do not want to waste. I have my own food arranged.

Two weeks alone and stay in hotel, no worry about food and drink, no worry about going out to do anything! How lucky! I can just do what I want to do!

Here is my schedule for a day:

Get up at 5:00 AM;

Start practice and drink water;

Start drinking coffee and turn on my computer;

Start exercises: palates, yoga etc.

Reading and listening Buddhist teaching.

Life is beautiful and I do not want to complain. Just enjoy what I am having at the moment. I will be home taking care of my parents soon.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Suddenly, I feel hungry. Shanghai called me for the health code that I had trouble with while I decided forget about it.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021    10:18:16 PM

I am trying to be positive. But the experiences are not so positive.

At first, the quarantine hotel: I try to see the good part, not the dirtiness. The cost is 380 RMB/day, 14days; it will cost 5320 Yuan RMB. It is about $760.00. I wish they will charge my credit card so that I will not use other people’s money.

The second, all the codes, I could not deal with. I tried, very hard tried and tired. It is not worth my energy. I gave up.

The third, the community will pick me up at the airport in Nanyang with ambulance and the cost is 200yuan RMB and then there are three times nuclear tests, each time cost at least 18 yuan RMB for two days result and for same day result will cost 65 yuan RMB. I do not have any Chinese money and I do not have any method to pay as they required. My son and my sister all trying to send me money to my weichat, but my weichat would not take money.

I am already broken here in China for not even seeing my parents and my granddaughter. I prefer to spend my own money. I prefer to pay by my US credit card.

I am going to try to link my credit card to alipay.