Thursday, May 28, 2026

To my Colleagues of 25 years


 Dear Colleagues,

It is time for me to leave Eugene, Oregon, where I have lived and worked for the past 25 years. I want to thank you all for your support and friendship throughout these years.

I began my journey at Sacred Heart Medical Center in July 2001 as an ECG technician. I am so grateful to my supervisor at the time, Katie, for helping me get that role, and to John for teaching me to be a stress lab technician. I met many wonderful people during those early years—Kathy helped me earn my CNA while I was applying to nursing school, and Shirley was there to pin me as an RN. Fran gave me both love and trust, and these experiences have truly enriched my life in the United States.

My entire nursing career has been in the NICU, and it was my colleagues there who taught me how to be a nurse. I remember following Joan for a day as a student; it was the first time I had ever seen a premature infant. I was amazed by the incredible work the NICU team was doing, and from that moment on, I knew I wanted to be a NICU nurse.

I am especially grateful to my preceptors, Ann and Denise, who shared their responsibilities to mentor me step-by-step. They showed me how to grow as a professional, and Denise even helped me become NRP certified while I was still a student. I am so lucky that I was able to attend that first unit-based certification course taught by Pam, Ling, and Carla.

Throughout my time in the NICU, so many of you helped me develop my clinical skills and knowledge. Whether it was starting an IV, resuscitation, or caring for our most critical infants, I have learned so much from my coworkers. I fondly remember Kristi, the night shift charge nurse, who trained me to be an NRT and how to admit new babies.

The physicians in our unit have also been consistently supportive. I recall working with Michal on an exchange transfusion and a complex case involving a 28-week infant with a pulmonary hemorrhage. I remember when Charlie’s quick action and immediate treatment saved a patient with CMV, and I recall witnessing the only intracardiac injection of my career, performed by Becky. I also learned so much from Igor, whose vast knowledge was an inspiration to us all.

Our new group of doctors is equally impressive; I deeply admire their dedication, knowledge, and the compassionate care they provide to our patients and their families. They are the backbone of this unit, and our babies are so fortunate to have them. Thank you all for your hard work and commitment.

I appreciate the NICU therapy team as well. Since the physical therapists come in to the unit, I don't see toaster head any more. And the speech therapists really make the feeding easier for the nurses. Thanks to them to make the unit better.

As I begin this new chapter of my life, I will surely miss this unit and all of you. I wish everyone nothing but the best.

Please feel free to reach out to me via text at [xxxxxxxxxx] or email me.

With gratitude,

Your friend

Friday, May 22, 2026

Teaching the nursing program

 In 1982, that was my first year of residency. I worked at the pediatric unit in the city's hospital in Nanyang, Henan province, P. R. China. I was newly married to my classmate from medical school.

For helping the nursing shortage of the hospital, the hospital decided to set up a nursing program training the nurse assistants in the hospital to become nurses. The program was well welcomed since it was not only provides more nurses for the hospital but also help the nurse assistants get better future. Even though the program is mainly for the nursing assistances within the hospital, but other hospitals could support it and get some of their nurse assistants enrolled.  Therefor we do have some people from outside of the hospital in the class.

It was the first time the hospital running this program. All the teachers were from the hospital, they basically are medical directors from every department in the hospital. The director of pediatric was Dr. Shan who was teaching the pediatric nursing.

Unfortunately, during the course, He had SVT, so he was admitted to the cardiac floor for treatment. He had to stop working and teaching. The class needs a substitute teacher. He talked about it at a morning meeting before rounding, and asked if any of us want to teach. He first asked a couple of senior pediatricians, since we were not a teaching hospital, no one wanted to teach in front of a group students. They were all fine taking followers.  And then he said, if no one can teach, he had to ask someone from other hospital to come to teach. And at the last, he asked me. For me, I did not really want to take the job because I was always afraid of speaking in public. But I could not bear the idea that we have to get a teacher from other hospital. So, I said "yes." 

Talking in public is not my specialty. In fact, when I had to talk in public, I got nervous, short of breath, and my mind went blind. Even though I was student leader since high school, but I tried to avoid any public speaking and was very successful. I would write the scripts for speaking and others would read the script when there were needs in high school. I was doing well on writing and calligraphy, so I did lots of writing as a student leader in high school by writing articles for blackboard newspaper and wall newspaper. In September 1976, after Chairman Mao passed, people all around China were making sure to let Chinaman Mao knew our firm resolution for the country. I did the writing and refused to speak In front of crowd. The other student leader read my script and made my passionate writing seem dry. In college, I again was selected as a student leader. I avoided all the talking since there was another leader who really liked to talk. One time I had to make an announcement, I went to the front and wrote the announcement on the blackboard.

So, taking the job as a teacher for the nursing program was a real challenge for me. I took it as a pride. But it took lots of work for me to overcome the fear of public speaking.

I spent lot of time to prepare my class. 

At first, I read the pediatric internal medicine, sometimes on certain topic, I even read the surgical textbook and pathophysiology and write down everything I was going to teach in the class and drawn all the diagrammatic presentations on a big paper to show in the class. 

And then, I would try to memorize everything I wrote.

And the third, I would give the lecture to my husband and took his critics, correction and suggestions since he works in the teaching hospital and already teach surgery in the local medical school.

And the last, I would record my lecture at home and listen to it and make corrections.

Despite all the preparation, at my first class, I was not able to look at the classroom full of students when I started my lecture. I looked at the window instead. Because of the thorough preparation, I was doing ok. It took me about 15 minutes; I was fine and able to look at the students. And for the subsequent class, I became the students' favorite teacher! The result was the hospital wanted me to teach the pediatric nursing for the following program! 

After students from the first nursing program graduates, the hospital started the second nursing program. I saved my preparation book and overcame my social anxiety which made it easier for the teaching later on. I did not have enough time to prepare for the class later since I had my son at that time and also working at the clinic. I took my old class preparation notebook at the clinic and read it when there was a downtime.

I taught two terms of pediatric nursing in the hospital. I have met some interesting students.

On my first class, there was a student from woman and children's hospital whose name is Xia Wang. Her dad and my dad were all in the army, and we used to live and grown up in the same family compound of the armed forces department. She was elder than me and I used to play with her little sister and later became classmates in elementary school. I used to see Xia as older and wise and admire her a lot. Xia later joined the army herself and left the retired from the army few years later. And she was in my class and I was teaching her! It was amazing seeing her as my student!

On my second term of teaching, there was a student from a factory hospital whose name is Shuting Xia. She went to middle school with me but in the different class. She was tall and beautiful and came from a family working in a factory. I left that school just after she was admitted to the school, so she did not really know me. But she was new, so I do remember her. Now she is my student as well!

Teaching a class really helped me to overcome my social anxiety and also helped me to better understand the text and pathophysiology. Truly, teaching benefits teachers as well as students. 

After that, the classmates from my medical school organized a small reunion in our home and planned to ride our bakes out to the countryside to see our classmates there. I talked a lot and made my old classmates were surprised. They asked what I do at work. I told them that besides working as a pediatrician in the hospital and clinic, I also teach nursing program. They said: 'that is why! Good for you?" They saw the change of me.


After all, that was a good experience. I enjoyed it and loved it! Thanks to Dr. Shan for the opportunity!

And the teaching was free as I remember. My salary was ¥46.00 per month at that time.


Sunday, May 17, 2026

今天退休了

 

退休了,就在今天。昨天是我的最后一个班,热热闹闹的上完了,最后是护士长送我离开,竟然在全科播放了NICU毕业歌,这本是我从NICU出院的孩子们准备的音乐,但是护士长用在了我退休日,也算恰如其分。毕竟我唯一的护理职业就在NICU,我从护理学校毕业就在这里工作,业已将近二十年,今天从NICU退休,也算是毕业了。

不知道是什么感觉,从昨天开始,就有些恍惚,认真的做完了最后一班工作,始终还是规规矩矩的做完了,没有按照护士长的要求而范一次规,留下那些文件不管。

回来后坐在房车外面,喝啤酒,只为了有一点仪式感。喝多了点,计划从此不再喝啤酒了,只在社交的时候可以喝。

今天睡了给懒觉,也是给自己一个仪式,从此不需要跟着闹钟起床了。但是失落感仍然存在。

写下自己的经历是早就计划好的了,而且也已经动笔了,只是还没有完全的将一切计划好,放在那里,如何放。明明知道自己有很多事情要做,今天却在这里失落,似乎是有点做作,这也许就是我的风格,孤芳自怜,孤芳自赏。修行了这么多年,我执仍然是如此之重。