Your  Duck is Dead--
A  woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As  she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled  out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly  said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed  away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes,  I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..
"How  can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you  haven't done any testing on him or anything. He  might just be in a coma or something."
The  vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.   He  returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador  Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in  amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front  paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck  from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet  with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog  on the head and took it out of  the room. A few minutes later he returned with a  cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed  the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on  its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled  out of the room.
The  vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but  as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a  dead duck."
The  vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and  produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The  duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she  cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet  shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word  for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab  Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."